waynepygram.com: Elevator Girl Lifetime Original Movie Mini-Review

waynepygram.com: Elevator Girl Lifetime Original Movie Mini-Review

Hey, did I not tell you I had this set to record on my DVR? Also WOW Lacey Chabert is *really* hot in this one.

What is it? Hallmark Original Movie
Where did it air? Uhhh...Hallmark...Original...Movie.
Who stars in it? Lacey Chabert as I mentioned in my Mean Girls review, Ryan Merriman and OH HOLY CRAP THAT'S JOEY KING IN THERE TOO! No literally she just showed up as I was typing this with about 30 minutes of movie left to go. So yeah, there's your Nickelodeon/Disney Channel connection right there!
Why are we reviewing this? Mostly because I opened my big fat mouth about recording this movie on my DVR in my Mean Girls review so here we go....

...and it's pretty much what you'd expect. Well...I was kind of expecting the "stuck in the elevator" part to take up most of the movie and the couple learning to fall in love with each other while undergoing such an awkward situation but...it's pretty much like every other soft romance between here and when Jane Austen first started penning words onto page. Not that my initial impression was all that much hard to begin with. The real conflict doesn't even happen until...well, past the part where Joey King shows up, and it's the lamest kind of conflict that tends to pop up in these halfway serious romantic movies. 

Other than that it's...a halfway serious romantic movie on Hallmark starring circa 2010 Lacey Chabert (yeah I didn't even notice how old this movie was until I was like, "wait that girl looks a lot like Joey King back when she did Ramona and Beesus") so...you come for what you want and you expect what you'd expect.

Movie Grade: A flat C. It's basically the adult version of Emma's Chance that I reviewed all the way back in February (which strangely enough doesn't feel long ago enough) except that since it does deal in more adult themes (well, kinda) in a cozy, romantic enough manner and lacks a hammered-in moral that the entire movie is built around it manages to rise above that movie's D+ or so and lands squarely in "eh, I feel in the mood to watch it" territory. Like, I can see people "Netflix and chilling" through these Hallmark movies. And really, I guess that's all Hallmark (or anybody) can really ask for.
Movie MVP: Well, I guess it's Lacey Chabert since she managed to pull me into watching this thing. The acting is...pretty even. Like, "in the background" quality acting. I really do think Lacey's a severely underrated actress, especially given her Mean Girls legacy, and she really deserves more than just being the VA all the time (and being dumped in favor for Mila Kunis no less - and don't get me wrong Mila is still hot as hell even without makeup but...I actually think Lacey's hotter) or just drifting around Hallmark for the rest of her career or just riding in the memory of Mean Girls fans. She does strike me as...really, really awkward in her Hallmark bump/IDs though which is just really odd because even in these movies she comes off as much more confident and talented than that.

Extra Thoughts:

 - I know I promised to reign back all this objectification but...ugh, I'm going to hand in my SJW card and I guess engage in some mansplaining...ugh, and given the timing this is probably the worst time to do it but...I just have a gut feeling that this might not be as objectionable this time around given the context and how seriously under-appreciated she is but...yeah. I think Lacey Chabert really, absolutely is fucking *hot* as hell. And I know people are tired of Hollywood being an overgrown beauty pageant but I really do want to know why she never got any bigger roles after Mean Girls.

 - Oh yeah, and Lacey is far and away the hottest of the Mean Girls. That includes everybody involved with that, LiLo, Rachael, Amanda, what have you.

 - Yes, even hotter than Amy Pohler.

 - That said, and all that I said about her being hotter than Mila Kunis...she's still not hotter than Sarah Hyland.

 - No one is hotter than Sarah Hyland, in fact.

 - Ryan Merriman plays a high-powered executive who likes building plastic car models. I...kinda dig that, actually.

 - But no, seriously, there are a ton of these Hallmark movies starring Lacey. There's like...sequels on top of sequels. I thought this was something she only started doing recently but no, this very movie's already 7 years old.

 - While watching this I noticed what has to be quite literally the most dickish commercial I've ever seen in my entire life, so yeah that fucking says something. It's a perfect encapsulation of not only everything that's wrong with the Donald Trump administration, but why his supports will just. Never. Fucking. Get. It.

 - Oh Crap I forgot Bailey Madison is on The Good Witch on this network.

 - Oh God it's Columbus Day, October 9, we've barely just started Monstober on Disney Channel and Hallmark is already starting their countdown to freakin' Christmas?!?! We're going to just skip Halloween even? Well, they have what effectively amounts to a movie of that aforementioned The Good Witch show at least. I mean, well, it did start snowing here...for the first time in October since 2013, but seriously.

 - Also, fuck this "snow in October" bullshit.
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